80s M.O.R. vs Not being able to sing

GOOD THING: 80s M.O.R.
One of the main differences between pop music now and twenty years ago is that, in the 1980s, you didn't have to be under 25 and with model looks to make it into the charts. In fact, you could be old and a bit rough - heck, Phil Collins was the epitomy of 80s uncool. Coupled with this age and naffness was a wave of MOR that I remember fondly from my childhood, however bad it was. My dad used to listen to Bruno Brooks (?) on a Sunday night back then, and tune in to Top of the Pops, which would never happen these days (unless he was stuck on that channel, having been flummoxed by digital TV.) Anyway, there's something memorable about an era when the charts were populated by the likes of John Farnham, Foreigner, The Cars, Mr Mister and Marillion; so many power-ballads, so little time. Some classics from this angst-ridden dad-rock era include 'I Wanna Know What Love Is', 'Take These Broken Wings' and 'Drive', but my shameful favourite is 'Owner of a Lonely Heart' by prog-meisters, Yes. In fact, strange things happened to prog bands in the 80s - they all went mainstream and lightweight. Genesis acquired Collins on vocals and started doing stuff like 'Sussudio' (another gem, fair enough) and Led Zeppelin produced the catchy 'Ozone Baby', a sing-a-long 3-minute rock song that Van Halen would have been proud of. I don't care who laughs at me - I have a soft spot for the MOR that floated around the house while I was growing up. Altogether now, "Gonna be your man in motion/All I need is a pair of wheels/Take me where my future's lyin'/St. Elmo's Fire!"

BAD THING: NOT BEING ABLE TO SING

I can't really complain about the hand I've been dealt, seeing as I'm in good physical and mental health, I'm intelligent and I wasn't even rubbish at sport at school. But if there's one thing I could change, I would give myself a decent singing voice. Unfortunately, it doesn't run in my family. The sound of us all singing, say, in church, would be enough to convince people that there is no God. My dad thinks he has a good voice, based purely on years of listening to himself sing along with the radio, and my brother is the same - at least my mum isn't so deluded. I used to be in the school choir between the ages of 10 and 13, but I was in it purely for the perk of going away on trips and weekends. How I was even kept in the choir when so many people were kicked out for their 'voice breaking' (girls included), I don't know. I think it was based largely on the fact that I was well-behaved and could remember the words. Anyway, my voice hasn't improved any over the years, and the only place I'll open my mouth to sing is in the car when I'm by myself. I still have a firm belief, however, that my poor singing voice has held me back from a glittering career in musical theatre - I would have made a cracking Mary Poppins...!