Car-mic justice vs Bare flesh in the supermarket

GOOD THING: CAR-MIC JUSTICE
To the left is a picture of my car (well, not mine, but one very similar.) It's not big and it's not fast. Actually, it's the bane of my bank balance, and it seems to inspire aggession and stupid behaviour in other motorists - mostly men over 40. Drivers of BMWs, Mercs, Landrovers and other high-performance vehicles can't bear to be stuck behind a tiny car with the engine the size of a matchbox, and I'm frequently on the receiving end of idiotic motoring such as undertaking, overtaking on bends/hills etc. I'm not the world's greatest driver, but I drive within the law and can't help the fact that my car's a bit crap. And, occasionally, someone up there likes me; there's nothing better than getting one over on a stupid driver. Last week I was overtaken at high speed by a convertible on a small slip-road coming off a motorway (the driver gained all of 20 feet before having to stop at a junction.) I recognised the car slightly, but wasn't sure where from. Anyway, I continued on the short remainder of my journey home, taking a short-cut off the main road. I pulled into the lane of garages behind the flats I live in, and got out in order to open my garage door. It's a small road, and anyone who comes in behind you has to wait while you park - and who should come whizzing around the corner but the same grey convertible? My short-cut had meant that I had arrived home 30 seconds before him, and the look on his face was priceless. I made sure I was in no hurry to lever the garage door open, amble back to my car and start the engine - it's not often when the balance of karma (or carma - sorry!) is restored to small car-drivers!

BAD THING: BARE FLESH IN THE SUPERMARKET
Genuinely hot summers are a lovely thing, and the sight of unusual amounts of bare flesh is both inevitable and par-for-the-course. Men of all ages trundle around bare-chested, regardless of their physique, and women wear short skirts, hot-pants and plunging vest tops that are really only suitable for 14-year old models. But I think the line should be drawn when it comes to shops, supermarkets and cafes - no-one wants to buy their chickens and sausages surrounded by pasty/pillar-box red beer guts. Surely there's something unhygienic about it? Even if that's not the case, they should be quietly escorted from the shop until they can locate the rest of their clothing. The other thing is bare feet. It's one thing to drift in and out of your holiday resort bar without your shoes on, but while you're traipsing around Asda? Actually, I don't know why anyone would want to go barefoot in the supermarket or any other public space - call me paranoid, but aside from the obvious dirt factor, there must be germs just waiting to be picked up on the soles of feet. Ew. It's time for shops to enforce a dress code to save the rest of us from the kind of sights usually reserved for the beach.